If health is wealth, toothache is destitution. Today I’m poorly.
I was one of those kids who made it to her 6 monthly appointments yet rarely walked away with just a floss. I took my mother along until I went to university and the logistics behind fetching her outweighed the comfort of having her present. Those first few solo visits were especially terrifying. I’d want to make sure the dentist was adequately briefed – was it on my records that I am an extremely nervous reluctant patient. My mam wasn’t there to set them straight.
A highly skilled and expensive Sikh dentist I attended in my twenties talked me round to having a gold crown. Very bling and incongruent. It’s baffled boyfriends/husband since. Dr Ubi wore a turban and mask so when he cranked up the chair and yanked me back til all I could see were these intense brown eyes I’d agree to whatever treatment he suggested. Though I do recall drawing the line at his offer to harvest my bone from my hip and graft it in a gap left by an extraction. I developed a similar dependency on Dr Ubi as I’d had on my mother. For a decade he was the only one to tend to my dental needs. Until finally gaining a mortgage meant ditching my private dentist.
Now at the mercy of the NHS I take my care where I can find it and still brick it when I walk in to a Dental practice (btw use of the word ‘practice’ doesn’t exactly fill an anxious patient with confidence).
Today’s visit was driven by pain – the tipping point came over the weekend when it got so severe, it dwarfed my inertia. My mother sent me the prayer to St Peter that my grandfather would recite to her when she had a toothache . He himself wore dentures. It ends with ‘anyone who keeps this prayer in memory or in writing will never suffer from a toothache’.It’s quite possible that he came upon ‘the cure’ after he got his false teeth. And though I transcribed it yesterday, I didn’t really believe my pain would vanish. It didn’t.
My sister evoked Louise Hay’s take on tooth ache. Root beliefs are being destroyed. Foundations shook. Teeth represent decisions. Long-standing indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions.
I admit the diagnosis fits. I do feel like I’m on the brink. By the cliff’s edge. And all who know me know my problem with decision-making. Almost as bad as my fear of the dentist. Almost..
Louise Hay suggests these affirmations ….
“I make my decisions based on the principles of truth, and I rest securely knowing that only right action is taking place in my life.
I create firm foundations for myself and for my life I choose my beliefs to support me joyously.”
And the outcome of today’s appointment? To give the metaphysical the best chance I’ve agreed to the root canal treatment prescribed .
I think I’ve got it covered.