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Mothering -a work in progress

I am the first one up in my house. This makes receiving breakfast in bed torturous.  I knew from over-hearing snatched conversations, and from previous years, that this would be my fate yesterday morning. I wait in bed until my tray arrives. That came (finally) at 8.30. Scrambled eggs and chocolate.  They know me well.  When my son and daughter’s cards chimed with the ‘best mother ever’ message I challenged them on what they meant by that.  Amber told me I was different to other mums because I was quirky and I help her with retorts when classmates are mean.  Like?  “Well, when Carrie asked me (repeatedly) what was that on my nose, you told me to tell her it was a unicorn”.  Yes, I did.  I also gave her a mean option- “it’s a pimple, just like the one you had on your chin last week” but my kind girl disregarded that approach.  My 6 year old felt I had earned the best mum merit because I no longer pull his hair.  I did tug on his hair one day when he’d pulled his sister’s – a taste of his own medicine he has not let me forget.

I don’t feel like the best mum ever. I even feel a little sad when I think my kids might accept that what I provide is the best mothering. Though I am their mother  and I am the best they will get. I hope I’ll get better at it, the longer I am in the role. I worry that all the work I have been doing on myself is taking me away from the daily job at hand – of being their mother. And though I hope there will be dividends for my family (DH as well) I’m probably taking a gamble. Then I think of the safety demonstrations they deliver on aircrafts. Secure your oxygen mask before  attending to your children’s. That’s what I am doing.

 

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5 Comments

  1. Marcia says:

    Love this blog and I think you are a great example of being the best Mum anyone could have. LOL at your tip to your daughter. Think your right that you are both doing yourself good and you kids and family as we often pass great knowledge on in our actions and they will be able to step up too in life when needed.

  2. Di says:

    I came to the computer to dig out a movie for myself but then I realised ‘you’ were Mahoganysoup, I know just how much I enjoy reading your articles and voila, here I am, trapped. Happily trapped, catching up on what you have here :-)
    This post of yours … Pia Jane Bijkerk wrote this about mothering and I shared it for all of my Facebook friends today. I recognised so much about it and thought others would too. I’m sure you’re enough. http://blog.piajanebijkerk.com/WordPress/2014/04/17/being-enough/

    • admin says:

      Thanks Di. And what a joy to visit your blog and read your insightful inspiring and regular (much more regular than mine) postings. Also all you share on FB. So thanks for that.

    • admin says:

      On being enough, I share Pia’s thoughts on the inner critic who shadows me night and day – uninvited but fed! I did an afternoon intro on Mindfulness and my takeaway was to try and not be judgemental. Who am I to judge others, even myself.

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